McNasty "kidnaps" 2005 Oildorado Queen but gang surrenders her to Sheriff Billy White
They’re just getting warmed up.
The Oildorado posse and its nemesis Wooden Nickel Gang drew lines in the sand at Saturday’s grand opening of the Oildorado store and headquarters.
Well, actually, the lines were drawn on the Main Street pavement when the gang’s leader – Shannon McNasty (aka Shannon McMillan) – “kidnapped” reigning Oildorado queen Kayla Hillygus just before the grand opening ceremony.
Fearless Sheriff Billy White and his band of Oildorado law enforcers acted quickly.
Harsh words were exchanged.
Billy called McNasty a “yellow-bellied, egg-sucking dog.”
When the smoke cleared, Billy and the posse had rescued Queen Kayla and all was right again.
McNasty and his brood skulked away, but vowed revenge.
“We ain’t gonna let that goody two-shoes sheriff and his pansy posse get away with that,” McNasty snarled. “We’ll be back!”
Sheriff Billy is unfazed.
“We can handle anything they bring,” he said. “We owe it to the good people of Taft to keep the peace during Oildorado Days. That’s our solemn promise, and we intend to keep it. Watch out McNasty!”
Sheriff Billy and his deputies will have other things on their minds too – like enforcing Oildorado law.
That means the menfolk will have to show some facial hair or sport a Smooth Puss badge.
Failure to do either will land violators in the Hoosegow – the Oildorado Days official jail.
The only way to bail out is to buy a Smooth Puss badge.
“So you just better get on down to the Oildorado store and hook yourself up with one of our very handsome badges,” the Sheriff says. “Think of it as a Stay out of Jail card.”
While on the prowl for clean-shaven, badge-less guys, the posse also will be on the lookout for gals not wearing their hair in a ponytail or hair bun in violation of the Tessie Garratt law.
“Of course, if they prefer one of those new fangled hair styles, we’ll look the other way,” says Sheriff Billy, “but only if they’re sportin’ a Tessie Garratt badge.
“Those, of course, are also available at the Oildorado store in a variety of attractive forms that any gal would be proud to own.”
Smooth Puss and Tessie Garratt badges can also be purchased at local barbershops and beauty salons.
Sheriff Billy said he and his posse won’t actually be enforcing the letter of the law just yet.
That will happen on Monday, Sept. 27.
“So between now and then we’re just warning’ folks,” he said.
Warrants to have someone arrested by the posse or kidnapped by the Wooden Nickel Gang go on Sale Friday, Sept. 24.