After placing two water-proof thingies underneath his Scooby-Doo pajama-clad body, I let him go to bed sans diaper.
I cringed when he crawled in between Paul and I at 1 a.m., thinking we were sure to wake up in a puddle. However, at 6:30 this morning, I was amazed to find Ryder (and my sheets) completely dry.
He looked at me and said, "I told you I don't need no diaper." (We'll work on the double negative issue later.)
With glorious visions of completely bypassing the diaper aisle during my next trip to Walmart, Ryder and I sang a celebratory song that consisted of lots of "Whoop whoops" and "We don't wear no diapers!" reminiscent of Dory and Nemo's dad in one of our favorite Disney movies.
I sat down at my desk this morning contemplating how fabulous my new diaper-free life will be.
Then, just for fun, I decided to calculate how much we would be saving without the added expense.
That was a mistake which caused me to throw up in my mouth a little.
Over the past 12 years straight purchasing diapers (no joke... there has not been a single month since I had Gage in 2000 that I haven't had at least one child in diapers or pull-ups) I've spent about $8,000 purchasing them.
Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, the average monthly cost for diapers is $50 a month. Multiply that by 12 months a year, for TWELVE frigging years, that's $7,200. (I'm terrible at math, but I'm hoping those calculations are correct. Otherwise, I'm going to feel very stupid.)
Then I figure at some points, both Caliber and Violet were in diapers at the same time, so I'm adding a cushion of $800 for good measure.
Plus, I'm pretty sure I spent more than $50 a month on diapers anyway, seeing as I'm a diaper snob and have always preferred Huggies over cheaper brands.
Hence my estimation that the Kinkade Family has forked out approximately $8,000 since the year 2000 on disposable, environmentally unfriendly diapers.
While we are on the topic of diapers, I wanted to point out my friend, Crystal Aston, who recently founded Siskiyou County's first diaper bank. It's for parents who may not be able to afford the $50 a month it takes to keep children feeling clean and happy.
No parent should ever have to choose between diapers and food, and Crystal, a program manager at Great Northern Corporation, is awesome for coming up with the idea.
So... if Ryder can continue this dry at night stuff, the Siskiyou County Diaper Bank will have a couple brand new packages of Huggies Pull Ups (the boy style with some kind of car on the front and back) to add to its shelves.
Donors may drop off new cloth diapers or disposable diapers in all sizes to the GNC offices at 780 S. Davis Avenue in Weed Monday through Thursday between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. You can also call Crystal at 938-4115, extension 126. Diaper wipes are also being accepted.
Oh god. That's another expense I didn't think to calculate. I am resisting the temptation to click on my computer's calculator to find out how many wipes I've used in the past 144 months...