Dear NEW member,
Welcome! Thank you for joining the “Be Fit Health Club.” This is your first step to a stronger, healthier you!! In order to serve you better, please fill out this short exercise questionnaire:

How often do you exercise?
Does raising my fork to my mouth count?

What form(s) of exercise do you enjoy most?
See question one.

Do you run?
Only when chased.

How would you describe your exercise goals?
To do some.

What has prevented you from reaching your exercise goals in the past?
Not doing any.

Are you currently pregnant?
Bite your tongue.

Do you ever feel faint or nauseous?
Only when I step on the scale.

Do you suffer from any non-specific aches and pains?
Only when I work out.

Do you have high cholesterol or high blood pressure?
Do I get extra credit if I do?

Do you smoke?
Just when I’m on fire.

What is your average alcohol consumption?
During my workouts or after?
Please rate your activity level, with 1 being the least active and 5 being the most.
Is this a trick question?

What is the best time for you to workout?
Weekday morning
Weekday evening
Weekends
Other (please specify): While I’m sleeping.

Please list the habits you would like to change:
1. My husband leaving his socks on the floor.
2. My kids walking in on me when I’m in the bathroom.
3. The dog chewing up our underwear.

Why did you decide to join our health club? Please check all that apply:
Lose weight or fat
Gain muscle
Sports specific training to improve my sport
Other (please specify): So I could spend my valuable time filling out questionnaires rather than exercising.
— For more Lost in Suburbia, Follow Tracy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage and Twitter @TracyBeckerman.