QUINCY, Mass. -- In the past couple of weeks, I have been inundated with household dilemmas.
In the past couple of weeks, I have been inundated with household dilemmas.
My washing machine and dryer no longer seem to remember how to spin or dry, and my refrigerator suddenly started sweating like it was running a marathon.
I was prepared for the demise of the washer and dryer because they had been faithful friends for some 15 years. They did their thing with few repairs, but I knew the end was near, so I went shopping for a new set. It didn't take much time because I had done my homework and knew exactly what I wanted.
The people at the store said they would deliver them within a week and pick up the old ones and hook up the new ones. I was psyched.
But I was soon plunged into applience hell.
The folks who delivered my washer and dryer discovered that the hose from my old washer didn't fit the new one. Therefore, "I" had a problem!
They said I should go to a hardware store and get a new fitting and I would be all set. Well, you can imagine how that turned out. The bottom line is that the only place that carried that replacement part was the Smithsonian.
Meanwhile, my refrigerator started to get worse, and my phone went on the fritz.
I used my cell phone to call the place where I bought the refrigerator, but they said they said they couldn't service them. They gave me a bunch of possible service people; however, they were booked for several weeks. I begged and pleaded, saying my floor was coming up due to the leak, but the woman in charge of service calls stuck to her guns. I'm sure she was a prior agent for the FBI. It appeared my only option was to wait and buy a canoe in case my house flooded.
Trying to get the phone fixed became a sitcom in the making. I was told to go outside, look for a jack and listen for a dial tone. They didn't know were I might find it, and neither did I, but they would come out and look. It might be covered by the contract, but it might not. It could be an inside problem, but that would cost more if they had to come in the house.
I think it's time to move into a hotel. They have a maintenance department, and while you're waiting for something to be fixed, you can order room service.
Patriot Ledger of Quincy, Mass.
Author, humorist, PBS star and For tune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth 02360, send e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org, visit the Web site at www.stressed.com or call 800-99-TADAH (82324).