Throw out those New Year's Resolutions, make a Project List instead. The Big Three resolutions are: give up the booze, toss those cigarettes, lose that weight. Those three are too hard to keep, and when you fail, you kick yourself. 

Stop! 

You can to the Big Three with tiny steps, one tiny step at a time, but why not start with something you would like to do, for a small success? 

Make a list of things you would like to do, projects that can be carried out step-by-step:

1. Clean the garage. No! Clean one shelf for 15 minutes. Time yourself. Fifteen minutes isn't long. Quit. Give yourself a break. You can do 15 minutes again tomorrow.

2. Take a walk. Haven't exercised for years? Just walk down the block a little way and come back. Give yourself a pat on the back. You have done it!

3. Have some fun. Don't know what is fun for you? Make a list. Go wild. Try one that seems doable, maybe just for that same 15-minute rule. Relax, rest and look at the sky. Think Big. The Magic of Success is coming to you this New Year!

Q: My daughter will not go anywhere without makeup. I think she is beautiful without it. What do I do?

A: Your daughter lacks confidence. When she does something helpful, say, "I'm proud of you," and tell her what she has done to make you proud. Be specific. 

Q: I hate my reverse mortgage. I owe more money every month. I would like to get a loan to pay it off, but I don't think my credit is good enough.

A: Most loans are all interest in the first several years. Don't get a loan. Any money you pay back directly to the reverse mortgage company first goes to pay their monthly fees and interest on the loan, but anything extra goes toward paying the principal. If you make regular payments to the reverse mortgage company, you will gradually reduce the amount you owe.

Q: When I walked out of my bedroom with just a top and underpants, my daughter, who lives with me, was very uncomfortable. My older daughter, who does not live with me, said she felt the same way. Did I traumatize them in their childhood by going topless sometimes from my bedroom on hot nights?

A: You might have, but that is in the past. Show respect for their feelings and remember to keep pants handy when you go out of your bedroom!

I would love to hear from you and answer your questions in this blog. Write to my email, vivianhayes154@yahoo.com. Thank you!

– Vivian Chepourkoff Hayes, MA, MS, is an artist, author, and life coach counselor. Visit her website at vivianchepourkoffhayes.com, find her books on Amazon at Vivian Chepourkoff Hayes Books, available as e-books and paperback, or find her artwork on Fine Art America. She can be reached at vivianhayes154@yahoo.com.

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The views expressed are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the official stance of the Daily Independent.